Dearest Sister,
Trying is your problem.. Trying is the flesh/you (independent-self) trying to survive. Trying flesh is Satan! He is operating you, but the good news is, this you is not who you are (Rom. 7:17). The victory is that Satan in you was defeated at the Cross (Romans 8:2-4).  So ironically, you are trying to get what you already have in Christ.
The mind of the flesh is death, says the Lord. Trying to solve yourself through flesh understanding is futile. You cannot say the right words; repeat my words, or even the bible’s words. This is YOU/Satan trying to chant the right words, have a formula, or find another way other than the only way, which is God’s way of rescue. I say again, Leap past your feelings and “Stand Still and see the Salvation of the Lord.”
You cannot release yourself from pain. You are trying so hard to get out of your soul pain by grabbing at straws, and by trusting me instead of the Lord. Do not make me your idol. You will never find release that way. Christ in you is your only hope, not me. Do not depend on me, or on my words to you, I will fail you. Your release will come from the other side. 2 Chron. 20:15-17 says “set yourself to stand still and see the salvation of the Lord” for “the battle is not yours, it is God’s.” Do nothing, say nothing, Christ has done it all on your behalf. Wait on the Lord, and praise Him, praise Him, praise Him. The power you are looking for is in the Spirit of Praise. The “Sacrifice of praise is well pleasing to the Lord” and is your healer
Loving you,
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